I have started – at the one year mark – to get going again. The feeling of inner happiness actually visits and I sense that I may survive my downer moods and feel normal for a while.
This weekend, I accompanied my three granddaughters to a small marathon in their village – in support of their local school. They are twins of five years and their younger sister of 2 years. We had a good time and I did not feel like the “leftover lady”. The girls have always been very loving and gracious. They listen well and their community is warm and inviting. I have given thought to moving here just to be closer to one of my own kids but I don’t know whether that is a good thing. I would be crowding that kid and maybe the other two kids would wonder why I did not choose to locate nearer to them. I wish I was a millionaire so that I could have a place close to my kids – all three of them. Anyway – I still love the house that my husband and I built and although many things about it remind me of him, it is too beautiful to give up yet.