Alone and Getting Aloner

In this period of recovery, I have just been required to get to another level of independence. For the first time since living alone, with all of my kids in other cities, I am sick. As I tried to rise from bed yesterday, I became light-headed and quite dizzy. Nausea filled my whole body and I rushed, as well as I could, to the washroom. I was definitely sick – all over – everything hurt – even my skin. Chest full of congestion and nauseous like I could not believe. My puppy and my kittens followed me dutifully from toilet to bed and bed to toilet. What a confusing morning for them.

I rallied enough power to make it to the kitchen and do the most important thing of the day – feed the pets. Alas, some semblance of normalcy for my animal friends. I could see that their confidence in me was recovering. I, however, quickly removed myself to the nearest couch and slept for a couple of hours. I felt better when I woke up – not much – but I was at least functioning.

This gave me pause to wonder what single people do…I was spoiled all of those years when I was sick. My husband would bring me my tea in my chair, he would grab me some toast or an afghan, he would always feel my head and tell me I didn’t have a fever and would likely live. We would always chuckle and I would know that he was there to help if I needed it.

Now that I am alone, I have visions of my long dead body being discovered by police after having been expired for weeks. Perhaps a response to an odour emanating from my house.

As it is, I will take my lesson from my husband who said I would live and I will give myself some tender loving care – as much as I can. I know I am alone and I know I have felt even more alone with this flu that has taken hold of me – but my resolve is firm – I will get through this too.

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