Uphill Battle to Even Ground

At the two year mark of losing my life partner, I realized that – being two years younger than him –  I was now older than he would ever be.  He was 63 years and 7 months old when he died and I am now older than that by a few days.  I am reminded of the “Ode of Remembrance” ………

 They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them.

I am sorry, my dear, for outliving you.  I do not feel deserving of this life I have at my disposal….

YES………

I smile, I laugh and I love to be with people again…..

I cook, I eat ( too much), and I share my table with family again……

I shop, I buy, and I give away pretty things and fun things to our grandkids and kids…….

I watch nature in my new home and its park-like setting.  The deer visit at night to empty my bird feeders – small price to pay for such a wonderful sight….

OK, SO………

My life is progressing well, I guess, and it is building on itself to create a whole new “thing”…..

BUT …….My Love…….    I still wish you could visit me for even two minutes to tell me how to get over you………

Merry Christmas………………

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